Knackered Nags Raid The Pigsty & Gallop Home With Piggy Silverware

Saturday 10th September was a typically hot, humid, polluted Hong Kong day, with temperatures hitting close to 40 degrees on the pitch what could be better than to be invited to the 2nd annual Pot Bellied Pigs HK 10’s tournament. The summer had been kind to the Nags who had been pasturing perhaps more than they should. None the less with 68 Whattsapp group participants, 18 confirmed names (Potter being a noticeable dropout) we managed to muster a group of 10 bodies 10 minutes before our first match. Standard prematch routine for the Nags does not involve really anything too physical. A spot of light stretching, asking about summer holidays; chucking the ball around a circle and two or three line out attempts, coffee and a ciggies and we were good to go.

Game 1 vs Kowloon Beavers
This was to be our 1st of two outings against the Beavers, who asked for no-push scrums and admitted that they had a few underage players as they (like Valley) were struggling to make numbers.
The Nags game plan was a simple one. Go from one side to the other, then back the other way. This proved effective and created an opportunity for Brooksie to pick and go down the blindside for the game’s only score.

Game 2 vs Flying Kukri’s
In line with keeping things simple we had an unchanged line up for the Kukri’s; Valley forgot to show up for the game and were even more pedestrian than normal.
Kukri’s win.

Game 3 vs DB Pirates
As our previous plan didn’t work we decided to mix up the starting line up for our last pool game vs DB with help from the Valley Brothers’ section. Game plan was the same (keep going the same way until we hit the sideline, then change direction). This worked, the Nags played hard for 5 minutes then swapped out the majority of the team for fresh legs and the final 5 minutes. I Don’t recall who scored (apologies scorers) but we won.
Nags now broken into a trot…

Fat off....
Now this being a PotBellied Pigs tournament there has to be an element of Pigginess. We had drawn with Kowloon on points to be joint top of our group, thus entered into a ‘Fat-Off’. A Fat-Off is where the fattest player on each team is selected to be measured around the girth. Guillame reluctantly conceded that he might be our fattest player around the tummy. “Especially if I inflate” in his words; so we confidently ambled over to the official tent to meet his opponent. Our hearts sank when we saw a very smug looking Kowloon captain and Anson Bailey waiting for the Fat-Off.
52 inches vs 48
Kowloon win the Fat-Off.

Play offs; Game 4 vs Sandy Bay
The sun and humidity had picked up for the play offs and half the Nags had already started on a trough of cold Tsing Tao’s, assuming we were out. Bodies seizing up we gallantly took to the pitch again for a fierce game vs Sandy Bay. Wyler (to be fined for wearing skin tight jeans post game) picking up and sneaking around the blind side and Woody with a trademark interception and full length of the pitch run in were the scorers. 1 from 2 conversions and Valley are now cantering into the finals…

Final vs Kowloon Beavers
For some reason the tournament organisers thought that they should make the final longer than the group games, which works well for young geldings, but not so well for Nags. Tensions were running high for our 2nd outing against the ‘Loon. La Roy couldn’t contain himself as the excitement of the game got to him and gobbed off to the ref, got sent back 10 meters, so I un-ceremonially sub’d him. Nags were now galloping up field and won a penalty on the Beavers 22. Nick, who’s boot had been golden all day stepped up to make the corner but the pressure and excitement had got to him too, and it was kicked over the dead ball line (this was heavily fined later). New comer Scott (also fined later) made a charge down the opposite line, but was tackled into touch.
Full time. 0 – 0.

Extra time sudden death
Another FatBoy tradition is that if full time and no score then the captains then choose 2 players to go off for the opposing teams, then a further 5 minutes is played with 8 players (So the old Nags are essentially now playing 7’s, grr), if still no score after another 5 minutes, the teams go down to 6 etc. This fired us up as the smell of victory, rest and cold beer was mounting.
The Nags trotted into enemy territory, whilst keeping possession Ols and Pat Healy etc making great charges. I somehow found myself in the centre’s line, looked up to see our Sri Lankan flying winger waiting with one man to beat, chucked the long pass which somehow hit the target. One man to beat, half the width of the pitch to do it and sudden death…… to add extra excitement and get the crowd of cheering Filipina helpers going berserk he decided that it would be better to cut back inside, take the tackle and reach out for the try instead of using the space and going round the outside. Ball grounded. Hugh sigh of relief (from both teams as all were knackered by then) Hugh cheer from wild Filipina crowd.
Valley Knackered Nags win sudden death and have even more silverware to add to their trophy cabinet.
A huge thanks to the organisers, Piggies, all the Valley Brothers and Nags who made it a great day.
Nags then hit the figurative water-trough, which was filled with ice cold beers. Not sure how I got home. Good times.