WARNING , DISCLAIMER and DISOWNERSHIP - Boozers Blog may contain unsavoury language, completely made up facts and otherwise distorted and unhinged perspectives that may be considered offensive and prejudiced. His views do not necessarily represent the views of Valley RFC or human beings in general.
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You’re all familiar with the phrase “business end of the season”. It’s a phrase popularized by sports coaches and commentators across this 3rd Stone from the Sun. Aside from the fact that it’s a cliché into its 4th decade of overuse and that the Welsh have only just begun using it , I would contest that it’s a load of bollocks.
The real “business end of the season” is the first few weeks – not the last. If “business” is not taken care of early in the season, you may have no “business” to take care of at the end. We’re now at the business end of the Air New Zealand Provincial rugby competition with only one round robin match remaining, followed by a top 4 show down. Teams like my own Waikato are far from assured a top 4 spot even though they’ve won the last 5 matches on the trot. Why not? Cos they failed to take care of business at the early stages, losing to Muppet teams like Southland, Bay of Plenty and Tasman. They must now take on a somewhat resurgent Auckland team without their five named All Blacks –Donald, Sivivatu, Messam, Leonard and Muliaina. By contrast, the once mighty mighty Auckland w@nkers, only supply two players to the upcoming Northern Tour.
I had feared, earlier in the year, that this might be a season of disappointment for New Zealand rugby. Like mostly Kiwis, I wouldn’t accept a shit season in return for RWC glory in 2011. I want both. But after a loss and a narrow win over the Frogs and a miserable performance against the wretched Italians, there came three consecutive losses to the Yarpies. Three straight wins over the Wobblies was a measly consolation.
Already in June, I was contemplating the real embasrrassment that we could even lose a game on the Northern Tour which includes (my picks in brackets) –
October 31, v Australia, National Olympic Stadium, Tokyo. (All Blacks)
November 8,v Wales, Millennium Stadium, Cardiff (All Blacks)
November 15, v Italy, San Siro Stadium, Milan (All Blacks)
November 22, v England, Twickenham, London (All Blacks)
November 29, v France, Stade Velodrome, Marseille (All Blacks)
December 6, v Barbarians, Twickenham, London (All Blacks)
The All Blacks haven’t lost a match on their Northern tours since 2006 which means 16 straight wins. Mighty impressive. Last year’s 2008 Grand Slam was especially outstanding, where the home nations couldn’t muster a single try between them in the four test matches. The AB’s of ’08 had raised the bar several notches and so the pressure goes into the 2009 edition of our national treasure.
We’ve got six glorious consecutive Saturdays with big test matches between the Southern men and the northern mono-skilled warthogs. What a treat!
Back in Hong Kong, after a hard fought win last weekend, the Mustangs brief and apologetic dabble with training was abruptly curtailed as we were clearly back on track after the opening loss the Scum Select. The Tangs also went from a bench of 15 in the first match to a bench of 2 this weekend. Luckily the Knights turned up to bolster the sideline with youth, good looks and the eagerness of the Special Ed school bus.
I’d clearly spoken too early when I triumphantly announced, while getting changed, that this would be the first time I’d played 3 games in succession since 2002. During the warm up I pinged my hammy and hobbled off with the shame, disgrace and humiliation matched only by the 2004-2006 English “World chumps” rugby team. What a bastard.
Causeway Bay Rams (to the slaughter)have yet to score a single point after three matches in the first division. It sounds like they were lucky to score zero points as Valley piled on 96 in the weekend. We’ve either become farking super human or it really was only Semi propping up the Bay. Probably the former. Similarly the Knights amassed 70 something points on the PLA before the match was abandoned 15 minutes early. Yes, that’s the People’s Liberation Army, with 1.7 million players to choose from, surrendering against the Valley Knights who have a few dozen to choose from and even includes an Indian Frenchman (Delhi France).
Now that we're officially at the "Business end of the season", Valley looks majestically tuned, with the club scoring about 4,000 points in the weekend just gone (Firsts, Knights and Ladies all exceeding 70 points) and the opposition being blanked in four of the games (Firsts, Knights, Griffins, Ladies). That is the business! It can be damned exhausting scoring all those tries. Hell, I reckon the Tangs couldn't score that many points at training, running against no opposition.
So, book your tickets for the Valley v HKFC Halloween Smack Down at the Football Club on 31st October. Bring a bag to fill with towels. We’re not called Tradition Valley for nothing.
My pick for the week for Sports fans– Eastbound and Down. The funniest show on TV (not HK TV of course) this year; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgDaVLCaBzQ
" I've been blessed with many things in this life - an arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a Burmese python and the mind of a fuckin' scientist. So people often ask me, "Kenny, what are your weaknesses - do you have any?" I would say that my biggest flaw, my Achilles heel, is my tireless work "
Your Majestic and Superior Cackling Hen
Boozer
October 19, 2009