What a month it has been. It's been rugby-tastic. Ball bouncingly, beer-swillingly, grandma-humpingly, yippee yi yo excellent. Unless you're a Kiwi.... then the last few weeks have been cod ordinary. As my mate and ex-Valley player (1997/8) Sean O'Hara told me when I stayed with him in Sydney last week, "It's gold. All-time. Top Ten." More awesome, he reckoned, than the fight he had with a US Navy boy in Japan when on tour there with the Hong Kong national team in 1998. "Sorted him out... real good", he told the Japanese police.
Probably the best thing that happened to the Rugby World cup was New Zealand losing the co-hosting rights. Last thing a rugby tourist wants is to be given a hiding in the car park by some bogan wearing a Swany and red-band gumboots and black jeans cos you were "staring at him". I went to the NZ/Wales game in Sydney and there were 80,012 people there - raising the roof. That's the population of a big city in New Zealand. It was, without doubt, the best match I have ever been to, both in terms of the quality of the play and the quality of the crowd. It was awesome. And I'll tell ya why the Welsh did so well; bloody Tom Jones was singing live at the garden bar of the Novotel, right on the door step of Telstra Stadium. He was worth 20 points, that fat welsh git. And he was miming. I got the video to prove it.
I sat next to Jock Hobbs, the chairman of the NZRFU, and he told me that he was f*cking disgusted that he had to sit next to some French pr*cks in Melbourne. "Wankers", he reckoned. Also met two other famous All Blacks; Colin "Pine Tree" Meads who gave a marvelous speech at a "long lunch" type thing in Melbourne and Waka Nathan. Other highlights included, having a fight with a DeA player in Bourne, being pulled up by the police while driving O'Hara's pimp mobile in Sydney, breaking my anterior cruchet ligament while playing street rugby outside a pub and masturbating in Bryan bed at the O'Hara high and mighty mansion (I sent him a text to tell him but he reckoned that those bed sheets would have been "so crusty that you could surf on them").
Back in Hong Kong, the RWC has had a big impact on the leagues with many many games being forfeited or postponed. It's a pigs dinner. Following the disappointment of failing to qualify for the ADICS tournament. the First team has bounced back with 3 consecutive wins and look set to be major contenders for the title again. The team to beat this year are DeA. We've signed up a new coach, Kevin Ramsey, who, with Semi's assistance, is getting the train back on the track. With his own colorful style and with abundant expletives, Ramz has gotten us back to basics and lord knows we needed it. The boys are afraid of him, and so am I. He calls me 5 times a day, "Who's bringing the f*cken water?"..... "When are those c***s at the Union gonna replace the f*cken tackle bags?"..... "What time's the f*cken game this weekend?".... all classic stuff. Kev played 50 games for Auckland in late 70's, early 80's and he's too shy to tell that he was voted player of the year in 1981 by the "Mangere Mongrel Mob Solo Mothers Supporters Club". A real legend. He has also coached 1st division rugby in Auckland and although Kev wondered if he'd still have the skills, he finally took the job, telling me that "rugby's f*cken rugby.... nothings changed... you've gotta smash the c***s!".
The mighty Griffins played too well in the Minor league. Playing a grade above themselves, they came second in the round and got permanently posted in the 3rd division where they will face the jowly-faced Mustangs. Another Griffins success came in the Valley pub golf where they downed 12 drinks in a row but were dis-qualified by "some hockey wanker" who reckoned they had cheated and that it wasn't possible to down all 12 drinks in one go. They were denied. They are still fuming. They even fronted for the First team bench on the following day, telling me "not to worry" about their state because, although they'd drank 12 pints in a single quaff, that they'd gotten to bed before 2am. Now that's what rugby is all about. There's too many of these namby pamby Gatorade drinking, non-smoking, Friday night pasta eating, Sunday pool-recovering , new set of kit at half-time, physio-seeking, boot polishing, sock-ironing, gym-attending, hair gel wearing bastards around these days. Give me the days when a bloke drank beer and smoked fags hours before a game and only went to physio if he broken his neck, complaining of a "stiff neck".
Ah, oh yeah.... well done England. Mighty rugby.
Boozer